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           Laine Wilde

The Woman

            Each morning from September until April, as the sun tries to rise over Clearbrook Park, it finds no path through the dark clouds that cap the dense fog. Fog which refuses entry even to the light desperately reaching out from the Victorian style lampposts; the ornate lampposts alternate along the sides of the only path from the east gateway that will lead to the black and white stone bridge resting over the park’s namesake in the south. Any other time of year, an onlooker could sit on the edge of the open bridge and swing his feet just inches above the shallow, translucent water bubbling up over the beautiful white quartz making up the brook bed, and he might find it quite remarkable. At this time of year, however, there are no such onlookers and the quick rush of the brook has chilled, almost frozen, to become a slow-moving gloss for the quartz bed. For six months, the entire park becomes as unwelcoming as the Carolina Wren poking its little beak out from the inconspicuous birdhouse nailed to a Dogwood by the bridge. He wouldn't be leaving the park until the clouds opened and cleared the fog away. 

            On the far side of the path, outside of the park, a young woman stands as if to challenge the mist’s stranglehold over the park. She forgets the bench from where she just sat thinking. Nervous as she is, her shivering is more from the bite of the dawn’s breeze through her lion-colored trench jacket. She can feel the cold of the first frost even under her emerald sundress, the tendrils of cold snapping against her tan skin, and immediately, she regrets not buying winter clothing after her move from Saint Croix.  She steps forward into the park, her braided black hair and golden eyes overwhelmed by the grasp of the fog.  She can no longer hear her feet as she walks. The silence of her walk engulfs her sight, and stifles her sense of smell. Around her, the fog does not part or dissipate. Trembling, the breeze never made it into the fog yet still she feels it and she has never felt more alone, she goes cautiously but with all the confidence she can gather from her past. Her feet ground her to the only thing she can sense, and she reaches out hoping to stroke a lamppost as she passes. She holds her breath, counting; there, that familiar sensation of cold, hollow, metal up against her fingers calms her and draws her closer. She continues on the path, not dreading her decision, though pained that she is too far and cannot turn back. She does not know the twists of the path and she concentrates on the feeling beneath her black strapped sandals. The next lamppost touches against her other outstretched hand and she knows the other side of the path. In time, this becomes easy for her and in this way, she walks onwards.

            Under her feet, a few fallen leaves crumple and she wonders if she stepped in the wrong direction. She touched a lamppost not long ago, she thinks, but is interrupted as something brushes harshly against her face. She touches it, discovering that it is rough, thin, and bendable. Relieved now that she feels the origin of the leaves, she holds onto the branch so that it does not hit her as she walks under it. Her feet hit stone, and she recognizes the feeling from the path by her home in Saint Croix. A twinge of sadness strikes her heart; she misses walking that path to the beach where she met friends so often. A reminiscing smile plays across her face as she remembers the first time her younger sister joined her and her friends to swim in the dark. She is curious about why there is stone underneath her and she stoops to touch it. Her fingers hit nothing; she pulls them back and feels the side of the stone. Sliding her hand up the side, she knows that she is by an edge and positions herself carefully. She scoots forward, still sliding her hand to keep track of the edge. Her forefinger touches something soft and it gives a little, she feels grains of dirt as they mash into her fingers. Embarrassed, she straightens up and wipes off her hand. As she laughs, her sound is stolen by the depth of the fog and she notices again that she is alone.  She feels her sandals pressing against the soft path again, the resistance building as she moves further away from the stone.  She walks and stretches out her arms. Tapping another lamppost, she knows her direction and walks.

            She is blinded. Frightened but ecstatic, she understands she can see now. The breeze nips at her legs, and she shivers. The smell of coffee from across the street and the sound of struggling night workers driving home greet her to a world so different than a time ago. Her eyes open and rays of the late dawn’s sun can be seen glancing off the pepper red monkey bars to her right. She turns to look back. The fog stops directly behind her, the end of her braid swings around and wisps of the thick mist cling to it. She looks up and sees just a few piercing drops of sun above the Clearbrook Park clouds. She loves the feeling of excitement after an adventure, but soon the return to this world loses its novelty and forgetting the park, she walks away to search for the coffee.

 Wilde, L. (Fall 2012). The Woman. Ferrum College, V.A.; Chrysalis (Arts & Literature Journal)

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Conformity

Verse 1
I see the lies
Falling all around me
And we don't know where our lives going
Nobody cares that we're just dying

Verse 2
This world's so cold
I stop to watch it turn
But you all can't see me now
I sit here watching 
My mind's not waiting
This world's off kelter
your life's in feathers

Verse 3
America! 
We never question why
Why everyone's the same
Why we wear black and sing along to songs 
We don't know

Chorus
I can't tell you why there's no emotion
It's like they knew we were drowning in the ocean
or killing with a passion
It's not my turn to move
So I won't waste my time on you

Verse 4
Just make some time to shine
Sing with me

Verse 5
Like a fallen crown
never found
no one knows
and we can't just fear
there's nothing left in here

Verse 6 
Drowing in the ocean waves
We can't be brave
We're never brave enough to say

Verse 7 
America!
Never question what we do
Never waste my mind on you
No one knows that we're the waiting
Become what we're hating too (do you?)

Verse 8 
Can't we see
that we're just lazy 
Hiding all the pain
Dying in the world today

Verse 9
Can't we see
We'll die in the world today

Chorus
I can't tell you why there's no emotion
It's like they knew we were drowning in the ocean
or killing with a passion
It's not my turn to move

So I won't waste my time on you

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Painting Freedom

Verse 1
In all my life, I've never forgotten.
In all my time, I watch these seasons change and rivers flow. I watch moonlight through these leaves. Am I alone in this pace? Can anyone follow?
in this darkened night, I hope,
while I'm here,
to see this morning's sun,
to hear sound soar through this sky and sing
trees can whisper in these winds

Verse 2
In one moment I find myself as worthless, as broken, as hurt.
In one moment I find this air too thick to breathe, this night too dark to see,
this music still and so surreal 
In one moment this atmosphere will change.
Now every moment, now every blade - is every shade of color.

Verse 3
March off with the beat of that drummer boy. March off to the beat of that drum. Each day you take, I hope that you'd come home but know if ever one day, you cannot come by again,
I'd still remember...This is war and this is life...that one moment...you glanced...
towards that painting on the wall
That empty painting on the wall.
Forever hear it beckon and call,
bait an innocent: will you lose yourself closer
Through these winds, birds will soar, and in this sky, a seam of color gleams!

Verse 4
I remember your fragile eyes and those words I held in mind: 
Dusk to dawn's a sigh, night couldn't freedom be.
To you, why do the fields of battle call? From that painting on the wall
That empty painting...on the wall. 

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We are Weak

Verse 1
Another moonlit night lookin' towards a suicide
What hurts so much?
What did you do?
Its just another little thing (another little thing)
It's so common to fall
so don't lose yourself
tonight

Verse 2
I say why don't you leave, leave, leave this town now
you're running around now, shoutin' peace at the door of your enemy
That seems so stupid, you wanna die today
Just keep moving forward, you shouldn't give yourself away....

(chorus)
All around you the sun was shining
while you fell through the holes in the floor
but i can see that the angels are crying..
as you pray for a better day
Oh God, won't you reach down and touch us,
to save us from the hatred of the day

Verse 3
You used to be the life of the party,
the one to laugh while we all fell down...
whatever happened to you? ..whatever happened to you?
(Repeat Verse 2)
Why'd you let the world take you out, Why'd you go and try to die?
You have to keep moving forward..To save yourself tonight
[Repeat chorus]

Verse 4
I love how we first met,
you had something to say,
you used to be so kind... I'm not blind,
I can see you're lost
I can see you're torn apart, that you became too self-involved
You know you lost it all...You cry,
Dear God wont you reach down and touch us, we need your help today

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